New Chapter

Ahh, it tis interesting, turning twenty. Honestly, I'm a bit tired to be making any philosophical remarks, so soon into this phenomenon, only one three hundredth of the way along it's journey. Just remind me to do something interesting about it in a week or so. Anyways, the point is, I'm done with the birthday for now, and have realized that it doesn't seemed to have affected me much. Maybe it's just the lack of pagentry surrounding it, since I'm usualy used to at least having a small celebration with my family. Since that's gotten pushed back to the end of july, I suppose it's possible the impact has just been pushed back. I really don't know.

-I suppose that I'll get around to telling you about my life someday, John

Well, since I got a bunch of new music, I figure I'll revive an old tradition for this post. Since I don't remember how long it's been since I last did one of these, I figure I'll explain it again. What I do is put my music player on random, then blog about whatever comes to mind while each song is on. Generally, it ends up being about the song that's on, but sometimes it'll go off in a random direction. But that's how it works.

And So It Goes by Billy Joel
Huh, and here I thought my knowledge of Kurt Vonnegut wouldn't make me laugh at Billy Joel titles. I always want an honest answer, yet I fear getting one. Is his silence really his defense, or just a way of hiding from the consequences? In fact, he kinda acknowledges that. Hmm... It never seems like the choice is ever mine to make... yet it really is, isn't it? I mean, I could go on hiding it, using silence to hide  how I feel, yet that doesn't work for long, and it's my choice to break the silence.


You'll Accomp'ny Me by Bob Seger
Not that long ago, I saw this song as romantic. I still do, somewhat, but it also reminds me there a darker side to love, maybe not in the song itself, but in what it reminds me of. Yes, it's romantic to think of someone pursuing someone, possibly even over coming the others reluctance... but how do you know that it's just reluctance, and not actually a valid reason for pushing someone away? And after all of that, all the romantic pursuit, what happens when he catches her?

Now I'm Here by Queen
I'm here, but how did I get here? Heck if I know. There's been so many points where the outcome could have been different, if only I'd played my cards a little smarter, or maybe just differently. But then... would I have any of the opportunities I have now? Any of the friends? Any of the heart wrenching thoughts that play on my insecurities? I guess I'll never know, but it makes me scared. What if I had ended up less balanced than I am right now? Is that even possible?

My Back Door by Melissa Etheridge
My dreams... are nothing worth talking about. Why is it that love/attraction is always talked about as a spell? I'd guess it's because it makes us do things we'd never want to do otherwise, even to the point of admitting that love. But what about the darker emotions, like jealousy, rage, and fear? Why do they never inspire us to talk about them? Maybe we should, if only to get them out. But even harder than talking with someone else about your fears, is actually confronting the source of them, even if they don't mean to cause them.

Animate by Rush
Do Something! Why should I wait around, typing up entries that aren't going to be read by anyone, when I could go do something about how I'm feeling? I know it's because I'm scared... but why should that matter? I mean, I've already pretty conclusively proven that I'd have to work very hard to screw this up. Or maybe not, but at least it'd be difficult in the direction. I'm always told to wait, told to think it over... and invariably, I cool down, and manage to forget just what it was I got so passionate about. Man must move, before he can think... I think I might need to move this time, before more thinking gets done.

I think I'm ugly.

There, I said it. I don't know why, but it's often difficult for me to admit that I have that problem. And it isn't fooling myself to call it a problem. There's a difference between acknowledging that you won't win any beauty contests, and thinking that you represent all that's wrong with the male gender, physically. In my head, I've called myself fat so many times it barely manages to affect me any more... or at least it should. Instead, I look at my belly too often, and berate the fact that it sticks out at all. Intellectually, I know that my mental image of myself is at best a gross caricature of what others see, and is probably closer to a complete fabrication, but it still affects me. I used to joke (to myself, since I don't often tell anybody about this) that I have the body image of a twelve year old anorexic girl... but sometimes I wonder. Is it possible to have anorexia without not eating? Yes, I've skipped a meal here or there, but most of the time, it's just distraction... but I'm not always sure. And, of course, here's where my worry train more likely than not departs reality. I never know at what point I'm worrying about legitimate things, or if I'm just extrapolating on extrapolation and getting more and more off center by the second. But that's not the point.

I don't know why I see myself so distorted, although I have the inkling of an idea. My younger brother and father were both ridiculously skinny all through the time I was growing up. On the other hand, my older half-brother and his father are both quite heavy set, thus making an extreme contrast extremely apparent, even to my younger self. So, never minding the fact that my body type is squarely in between the two, I think my brain decided that since I wasn't skinny, I must be fat. Honestly, I have no idea if this is in fact correct, since I pretty much came up with it as I was typing. But regardless, I have finally realized that my mental image is, in fact, distorted. This isn't a recent development, and it's not something I came up with while I was sitting on the street corner. At the same time, it's also something that, although I suspected from time to time, my mental image was so firmly planted that it's taken this long to dislodge it enough to at least admit that it is wrong. In fact, it's affected me enough that I very nearly typed "might be wrong" instead.

What's the point of all this then? I really don't know. I'd like to think I'm better than using this all as an excuse to fish for compliments, but I've been proven wrong before. Ulterior motives aside, I guess I just want to get it off my chest. Maybe having this out there in cyberland will make this easier to talk about. Maybe I'll just be able to point to this as an indicator of where my mind is coming from. Who knows? I certainly don't. Of course, it might not be as much fun if I did.

Right now, I am happy I purchased and read the next three novels in the Sandman series. I am happy that I got something good to eat, specifically tacos of a delicious order. I am happy that I'm finally getting back into the habit of updating my Livejournal. I am happy that I got to see a friend I don't see enough of earlier today, regardless of how short of an interval that was. I'm happy that I've gotten back into playing the Mad Scientist Wars, after far too long a break. I'm happy that I managed to pass. I'm happy for the music I can listen too, and the sounds of the instruments that make it all possible. I'm happy that I'm going to be able to go down to Westfield soon, and visit friends and relatives.

The point of that litany, if it does indeed have a point, is that I tend to gravitate towards a happy state. If I were to describe my attitude and behavior, I'd usally end up talking about something that would seem to be an instant recipe for all around emoness. I worry too much, I hate my body, I tend to extrapolate failure in all sorts of circumstances. And despite that, or perhaps because of it, I tend to have a sunny disposition on things. That's not to say that I'm happy all the time, because that would be pretty awful, but generally, I think I'm more up than down, at least when I'm not dealing with things that confuse the hell out of my emotions. Even then, I still tend to put out a happy face, and deal with things as they come. I won't say I know why this happens, but more importantly, I don't know how to help other people to be able to do it.

I tend to make friends with people with volitale emotions. I can't explain why that is. I was once told that I was like a rock for someone. Funnily enough, that was one of the times I was feeling the most out of my depth, and feeling like I didn't have a place to stand, let alone be stable. And maybe that's the only way I can help, just by being there, and being stable for someone, no matter how unreliable I may feel inside. But then, those times when I do feel stable, it just doesn't seem like quite enough. I wish (and have wished, and will always wish) that there was some way I could do that much more. I want to be able to lend that strength to someone, or be able to take some of their troubles onto myself. Heck, much of the time, I wish I could take all of their troubles onto myself, after all, what have they done to deserve them? And I know it doesn't work that way, but I still want to, and instead feel like I'm a useless friend for sitting on the sidelines, simply patting them on the back and going "There, there." Why does that have to be the end all be all of what help I can extend? Why cannot I lend whatever it is that makes me this rock out? Why can't I even understand it, so that I could give some helpful advice for getting through it? Who knows? Not I, that's for sure. Maybe someday, I'll figure it out. Until then, I just do what I can, no matter how useless it feels.

-And life goes on once more, Wally Caine

Hmmm, it's been awhile, at least for me. Sorry about that, by the way. I had a major English paper that ended up taking up a lot more time (and procrastination) than I anticipated. So, lets see how the past... oh, month or so has been.

First off, classes. I was taking three classes, and I managed to pass them all. English was probably the hardest for me, just because of time pressures and my own procrastination. I did, however, manage to pull a C out of somewhere, so I'm happy with the result. I also got a B- and B in Physics and Calculus, respectively. Over all, I could have done better this semester, but I'm not too disappointed. Between the play and various other things going on, I kept on track for the most part. Now I just need to go onto next semester. Wish me luck.

I've been doing quite well otherwise. Sure, I've managed to confuse my noggin dealing with people more than once, but... I think it's turned out for the best, and even if things don't turn out the way I'd like them, I still come out ahead. At least, that's what I'm going to tell myself. Also, I've managed to greatly expand my collection of music. In fact, I recently finished collecting all the Rush CD's, so I now own the complete discography :-)

Here I am, until I'm not; Wally Caine

Created a Dreamwidth account, and want to see if it crossposts.

Well, in between all the soul searching and thought sharing that goes on within this blog, I thought I'd recommend a show to you all, assuming you're able to watch it. The show in question is Castle, which I'll admit, I started recording solely because Nathan Fillion is starring in it. Well, this break, I finally got the chance to catch up with myself, and I have to say, I really like the show. Richard Castle is a bestselling writer, who has become the partner of NYPD Detective Kate Beckett, through a series of plot events I missed, presumably explained in the first episode or two. However, the why's and wherefore's of what brought about the situation are what makes me like this show. Firstly, there's the interaction between Beckett and Castle, as Castle starts his new series based off of her, and uses his influence and charm to mostly help, and sometimes hinder, her police work. Then, of course, there's Castle's eccentric homelife, including his daughter Alexis, who he's "Mr. Mom" to, and his mother Martha, a former Broadway actress, who is both manipulative and quite humorous. Finally sealing the deal for me, is the way the show manages to poke fun at itself and other police proceduals, with such things as a missing persons "database," which consists of a series of folders and files, all written out in paper. Anyways, that'd be why I recommend it to you if you happen to be in an area that gets it. It's currently on Monday nights at 10/9c, on ABC, so if this has intrigued you, feel free to give it a try.  And for those of you who wouldn't be able to get that channel if you wanted to... I'm sorry?

-Wally C.

As far as I can tell, chivalry is not dead.

The only thing is, it's not always used for the right purposes. I've met too many guys who want to be nice because they see that as an easy ticket into a girl's pants, and are disappointed when that turns out to not work. Or, even if it does work, they suddenly discover that they have to keep up the act, if they don't want to lose their access. The thing is, that's not really being nice, or even a decent human being. That's not respecting the girl, if you simply view her as a means to get sex, and that sort of behavior is no longer even close to nice, it's just manipulation. That sort of things really annoys me, because those using it often feel that they are actually being nice, and have deluded themselves into thinking that they are somehow more respectful than those 'other jerks.' I used to have a philosophy like that, and although it wasn't quite as bad as it could have been, I've still come a long way since then.

That isn't to say that I've suddenly become a perfect gentleman over night. After all, it took me a while to retrain myself, and I still haven't stopped doing that. I mean, I still occasionally find I have a bit of a problem with staring, which while harmless in and of itself, still makes some people uncomfortable, so it's not something that's very polite. I've been training myself with this for quite a while, and although I feel I'm doing better, it's still not where I'd like it to be. I have been told several times that I'm a gentlemen, so I guess my eyes have managed not to wander too much :-)

I suppose the real point of this is the importance of intentions. Chivalry isn't really about some old code of conduct, which was probably abused by many a knight even back in it's heyday. It's about being respectful and nice for niceness sake, not because someone's going to reward you for it. It's really an idea that should be applied to both genders when you're dealing with them, not just the one you're attracted to.

-Not really sure where this came from, Wally C.

I'm really doing a lot better with things that would have triggered anxiety none too long ago. I mean, while I still don't like waiting for answers on stuff, especially on if it concerns people I care about, it really doesn't cause me to go into worry fits anymore. I think part of this has to do with the fact that I've at least partially figured out how to harness one of the things that causes my worry, my imagination. Now, instead of thinking up the hundred scenarios that will make me anxious and cast someone in a bad light, I concentrate on coming up with scenarios that are blameless, and remember that not everyone checks everything every time they get on, like I do. And I remind myself that just because they've seen something doesn't mean that they're ready to write a response just yet, and so on and so forth. That helps me two fold, because if I'm thinking of things that are good, there's less brain power to think up bad scenarios, and I have alternatives to show when those bad scenarios occur to me. Plus, I've gotten much better at allowing other people to make their own decisions, and not worrying about it when the ball's in someone else's court, to borrow a turn of phrase. Now, this doesn't mean I don't worry anymore, because that couldn't be healthy, but I've gotten it down to a reasonable degree, at least for now. Of course, this new attitude could up and vanish tomorrow, but in that case, I'll be glad I had it for a bit. After all, it's not like getting worked up over something is going to change the outcome.

-Strangely Serene, Wally C.

Well, I'm visiting a friend of mine, and have finally gotten the chance to watch Full Metal Alchemist, which is an anime that a lot people I know have recommended. I have to say, I'm enjoying it quite a bit, and am glad I have this chance to watch it, which I otherwise would probably have kept missing out on. So yeah, the fanfiction for this one should be quite interesting to read, assuming I can find good ones.

Additionally, I finally feel like I'm building good habits as far as making sure that I don't freak out about stuff. Twice now, I've actually logiced my way out of a situation that would have sent me into a circular logic fit none too long ago. So, in other words, I'm happy with how I'm thinking about things, at least at the moment. So, I'm happy for that reason too.

-Wally C.

Despite the title, there isn't a great deal of the past that I'd get rid of. Yes, there were some times that have hurt, and I'd rather not have gone though them, but I've also learned things from them that have kept me happy and sane, and in some cases, led to me doing wonderful things and finding friends that would hate to not have. The funny part about this is that I really do have a lot that I could regret, if that's what I wanted to do, and in a different mood, I might be able to whine and moan about them for several paragraphs. But you know what? Each and every one of them has had a silver lining, and I wouldn't be who I was today if it wasn't for what's happened in the past.

The first example that comes to mind is my failing out of Brockport. In fact, that whole semester was very trying, but that's part of the point. After all, if I hadn't been tried and tested that first semeseter, then when would I have figured out how bad my problems were? A year later, when I would have already been knee-deep in student loans and half-crazy from trying to keep up? After I graduated, trying to hold onto a job and grad school with my level of organization problems? Who knows, but I don't think it would have been pretty. And, I wouldn't have met back up with Cassie, and would have kept wondering if that Jessie girl I talked to was just a figment of my imagination, because after all, there's no way a cute and smart girl would have really talked to me for three hours willingly. After all, that's a fact, right? But I did fail out, and my very first day at MCC, saw her, gathered together my courage, and reintroduced myself. Hard for me to believe it's been over a year since that day, and how much it's influenced my life for the better each day since then.

One thing I do regret, if only because I think I could have handled it better, was the whole situation with Ann. I spent a lot of time screwing that one up, though, and I don't think it really would have changed much if I'd been better about it. For those who don't know, or need the reminder, Ann was a class mate from high school with whom I was at one point friends with. I had a crush on her, and not really being good at expressing myself, or hiding it, I probably alienated her in high school, though I failed spectacularly at noticing. Anyways, we ended up at the same college, only partly through chance, and I soon found out, when she told someone else in my presence, that she considered me a creepy stalker kid. Then followed a lot of naive explinations by me, in the hopes that we could at least get back to friendship. That failed enormously, and continued to eat away at me for months and months, and still occasionally makes me question my motives about actions to this day. However, no matter how bad that experiance had hurt me in the past, and still hurts today, there's a lot I learned from it that I would never want to give up. I learned that trying to hide something from yourself doesn't make it go away, that an unasked question is more likely to ruin a friendship than one asked and answered, and that it's not really being nice if you expect something out of it. That, and a lot of other stuff, has given me courage, and more than once kept me from blowing up on the world. Plus, if I'm ever really bored, and want to piss her off, I've learned that I can do that just by messaging her. Not that I'd ever abuse that power :)


Even the little time in a relationship I've been given I wouldn't give up for the world. Yes, it could have ended better, although it was more of a sputter than anything else, and I still do have regrets about it, but I'd like to think that the fun times out weigh the what might-have-beens. Same with all the questions I've asked in that vein, because I'd rather know than worry about something that may or may not happen. And, it's a lot easier to apologize for an unwanted question than it is to for a whole series of mildly creepy actions. Believe me, I've tried.

-Eaglet

It always depends on the timing. What I'm feeling like, what I'm going through, what's going on around me, all of that factors. Right now, it's Stick It Out by Rush. Good song, represents how confused I can be.

You know, I realize that a lot of the time, I don't have enough appreciation for the classics. I mean, yes, I think they're good, but I also say that about many works that are much worse, at least from a stand point of critical analysis or such stuff. I think part of that is because of how I was introduced to science fiction literature, although this carries over into all the other genres. You see, the first sci-fi book I read was part of a series called The Destroyer, and that series a pretty good example of very pulpy adventure stories, occasionally veering into sci-fi. Of course, there was a lot of underlying satire that I missed completely at age seven. So, all in all, my introduction into larger literature was via pulp fiction, and that's affected my views up to today. I almost never go looking for stories that are supposed to affect my life, though I do find them on occasion. Instead, I go looking for a book to entertain me. It doesn't matter to me what message it's trying to spread, or even if it's trying to spread a message at all. It just has to hold my interest, and allow me to have fun. That isn't to say that I disdain the messages in stories, or feel that looking for deeper meaning is a waste of time. It's just not my primary purpose in picking up a book. Maybe it's also part of the reason that I can always look on the bright side of any book, and frequently enjoy books that others found boring or preachy. Who knows how I might be if I hadn't been bored in the bathroom and picked up one of my dad's books?

-My fingers are freezing, Wally C.

I think I need to find a new group of friends. That isn't to say that I intend to abandon the current group, or anything like that, but I need a group outside of MCC, so that I'm not always around that group, but still am involved in some form. That, and I need a place to go when the people of the corner aggravate me. Mostly, I just wander around, but it would be nice if I had a place that was fun to hang out at other times. Maybe I should start hanging around Java's, but I don't know if I'd just end up out of place. Ahh, well, that's not too important. Let's see, what else... I've started thinking about taking a dance class next semester. Either that or take lessons someplace. I'd like to get into better shape, even though I'm slightly afraid of what might happen to me, so a structured enviroment should help allay those fears somewhat. Plus, I've always like dancing, whether paired or free form. Who knows? Maybe I'll meet some nice people there.

- Always Hopeful, Wally

I hate myself sometimes. Other times, I wouldn't want to be anyone other than who I am. I don't know which of those times this is, or if it's really just a combination of both. I'm running myself ragged with this play, and keeping myself up at night with questions that I can't yet answer. I've given myself a stomach ache every time I allow my thoughts to run themselves, and can't seem to make any progress when I don't. My confidence is pretty high, compared to where it's been, and yet... I don't know. I suppose that there are parts of that are scared of either answer, and at the same time excited. Who knows what I'm talking about, because I certainly wouldn't if I wasn't me. And honestly, I apologize, because I know I hate it when I read stuff like this and can't figure out what it's about, or if it even involves people I would know. So yeah, I'm sorry, but I like being obscure while still managing to get things off my chest, if only somewhat. Who knows, I may manage to resolve my mind before I speak again, or maybe not. I'd prefer if I did manage to do so, as having all of this stuck in my head is threatening to make it explode.

-I like my head non-exploded, Wally C.

You know, there's always something liberating in sharing something that no one knows about, because it's entirely in your head, and you haven't ever told anyone before. So, I figure, I'll put something like that up here, and see if the effect is similar. Plus, it give me a chance to go back over for myself what and why things are important to me, so that's always nice.

Now, the object in question is a necklace I bought last year, around early February I think. It's fairly simple, consisting of a celtic triangle knot, on the end of a braided chain. It wasn't meant to be mine, but that's part of the reason that it's significant to me. You see, this was back when I first decided to ask Cassie out. I bought it, in the hopes that it would be able to be a valentine's day present, obviously hoping for a bit much from my courage. Once valentine's day had come and gone, it became more symbolic of my desire to ask her out at all, and I started wearing it to remind myself that I was, in fact, going to work up the courage to do so, so I could give it to her at some point. I hid it under my shirt a lot during that time, so I don't know if anyone actually noticed me wearing it, but I knew it was there, and that was a bit of extra incentive. Then, one day, I finally managed it, mostly due to exteunating circumstances that forced my hand somewhat and left an opening. She did, of course, say no, but did so in such a nice way that I wasn't hurt, and made me realize that rejection isn't something to be feared like the boogyman, but instead just another way of finding out about people. It doesn't always mean that they hate you, or even that they don't care about you, but instead, for whatever reason, don't want that relationship. That, at least, I could understand, and I'll be forever greatful to her for teaching me that in the nicest way possible, as it seems to me. So, in the end, that's what that necklace means to me. It stands for friendship preserved, the fact that asking won't hurt too much, and really, anything having to do with my Needles.

-Eaglet

I'm torn at this point, as part of me wants to do a meandering, philosophically driven entry  that utterly fails to convey any meaning, while the other part wants to simply put down the facts of the matter, and see what comes out. I think I'll try to do the latter, but if it turns out to be closer to the former, I did warn you.

It has now been a little over two months since I started trying to date, and I'd like to think I've been pretty successful, considering how I was before hand. My first date, while successful in that I didn't make a fool of myself, failed to secure a second mainly due to the fact that she wasn't  attracted to me. I was okay with that, finding it hard to imagine myself as attractive, and proceeded to continue becoming good friends with her. Then, about a month later, I asked a friend of mine whose relationship had recently ended out on a date. During the week and a half that followed before the actual date, we started acting more couple-like, and my hopes for continuing past the first date were bolstered.  I honestly think the actual date didn't go too badly, although I think my view of it was befuddled by the goodnight kiss. Honestly looking back on it, we really didn't have much in common to talk about, so it didn't really go well in that respect. However, this time, I did get my confidence in my looks bolstered, as she made it clear that although she didn't feel any connection, she still found me attractive, a mind-boggling concept to me. Now, I just have to figure out how to combine the two results in some fashion, resulting in someone who is both attracted to me and with whom I can carry on a conversation with individually. Hope springs eternal, and miracles do happen, right?

As for how I'm feeling about it, I'm not too disappointed, as it could have gone much worse, although I do wish it had ended a little earlier, before I got my hopes up too much. Still, I had fun, learned new things, and in general worked out some stuff in my head. Now, that said, I do still have lingering regrets and recriminations, but I'm handling them as best as I can, and so far, it seems to be working overall. I just hope next time I try I can get to at least two dates.

-Distractions, Wally C.

Alright, mental dump, starting now. Firstly, I find myself out of my depth, in something vaguely resembling a relationship for the first time in nearly two decades of existence, and I have no idea what to do. I find myself freaking out over the smallest details, like how much time she spent with me, whether or not she wanted to kiss me the most recent time we were together, and how long and what about we were talking about when IMing. Now, these might be good reasons to worry, if repeated into a pattern, or committed with seeming malice, but they weren't. Nonetheless, I find myself freaking out, then freaking out about the fact that I'm freaking out, then trying to suppress these feelings, and then worrying about if genuine worries are being suppressed alongside ridiculous ones, all topped off worrying about how all this worrying will affect her opinion of me, and if I'm going to scare her off with my crazy. Add all of that to an absolutely horrible self image, and you have the recipe for a self-bashing party of epic proportions. Humorously, if she came up to me tomorrow, and said she didn't want to continue this, then I'd be sad, but I'd go on and probably have less to obsessively worry over.

I hate having my anxiety interfere with my thoughts to the point that I have to write them down during play practice, in between reading lines and taking notes, then transcribe it later. I notice that I started out with a firstly, and then never managed to make it past that first thought. Oh, well. I'm sure you'll survive not hearing about the other, secondary worries I have. And, of course, I do wish to point out that this whole thing is born entirely of my anxiety, and does not represent the feelings of the whole establishment, even if the anxiety does have the fore front of my mind, at the moment of writing.

-Much Ado About Nothing, Wally C.

Well, it's been an interesting time so far. I've got a date coming up on Sunday, so I'm excited for that. I've got a lot of thoughts, concerns, and just plain freak outs running around in my head, but I'm doing my best to look at things rationally, and not let them bother me. Yes, there's a lot of things that could go horribly wrong, either with this date, or with the rest of what's going on, but I also know that things could go wonderfully right. So, instead of freaking out about what might be bad, I'll just relish the opportunity that's available, even if it doesn't work out. Of course, part of the reason I can be so relaxed is that I have an inkling she might return my feelings, and that's quite the confidence booster. At least, it is for me, anyways.

In other news, I've got a good chance of finding out if anything was recoverable from my laptop hard drive tomorrow, or, failing that, Wednesday. Hopefully, I won't have to find all those webcomics all over again. It's going to be hard enough catching up with all the updates I've missed. I've also got dinner with Alan Lightman tomorrow, but I'm honestly having difficultly being excited about it. Probably have enough to be excited about already, so superfluous worries are being discarded.

-Is probably being annoying about this, Wally

Well, I finally finished fixing my laptop. We got the hard drive in the mail, but there was a bit of trouble reinstalling some of the drivers, so I got customer service to take me through it. I have to say, it was lots of fun seeing him work with my computer without me touching anything, once we did manage to connect together. Now, I just have to finish loading the files that'll tide me over until I can see if I'll be able to recover anything from the old hard drive. I'm hopeful, but we'll have to see, probably sometime around Wednesday. So yes, it was a good time, and I got lots of help from someone in India (Note: I do not actually know he was from India, but it is the most likely).

Now, the other big event of the past week was when I actually managed to ask a girl out, who proceeded to say yes. Now, this is the second time this has happened in the past two months, and, to be honest, I'm not really sure what the cause is. Well, I should say, I don't entirely know, although I do have my suspicions. But regardless of the cause, yay for increased confidence! Unless it's mind control rays. In which case, I do have to be concerned about the cause.

- Sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows; Wally C.